Monday, August 16, 2021

Independent living - Why? When? How?


Independent living - Why?  When? How?

I am starting with the hardest question, but I think the most important: Why?

It’s the scenario that none of us wants to think about - our loved child surviving us - so we put it off.  I have heard too many scary stories, so this is my main reason for the page.

Mildred (not DS) lived with her elderly parents in the same home for all of her life.  Her parents died suddenly within a few weeks of each other.  Unbeknown to Mildred’s sibling they had left the family home to her, on the condition that she looked after Mildred!

Mildred and her sibling had never really got on.  After a few months the arrangement broke down.  Mildred had lost her parents and the only home she had ever known.  Only her name is made up.

I heard this week of an unmarried sibling being expected to look after her sibling with DS.  She has given up her career because he needs so much care. 

We have all seen elderly parents walking along with their middle-aged adult with DS and wondered how that person will cope when the inevitable happens.

I have picked examples of difficult situations and I am sure that there are lots of siblings who have willingly taken on the full time care of their disabled sibling – good on them!

We know that Heidi’s siblings will look out for her. Even now if she has a problem she will go to a sibling, especially if it’s too technical for us boomers.  And for years she has gone to Suzie for fashion advice – can’t think why!   But we didn’t want them to be forced to look after her when we were gone.


This is a very sombre start to a blog but hopefully it will help you to plan ahead! 

I promise it will get happier – it’s about Heidi so it’s got to hasn’t it?

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